How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize