I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
