hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize