So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
