i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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