im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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