so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
