honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I lost the right to judge tonight
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
