im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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