I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
