weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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