Don't you send me to vm
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
