you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize