I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
