Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just cut my nipple shaving
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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