I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
