DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
