She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
