By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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