I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
