Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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