Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
