Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
