I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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