Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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