nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
