I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
nutella sex= disaster
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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