He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
