so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
