Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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