Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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