i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You ruined the universe
Randomize
