Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
