Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
