So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize