I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
