it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
