I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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