y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
