No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she told me i tasted like america
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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