i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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