how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My hand turned me down
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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