not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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