And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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