before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
