she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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