is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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