I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
