I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
