is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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