You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize