I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
