I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
