Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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