why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Farmville is her only friend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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