does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
