he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
