i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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