Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
