That's when you crack a 10am beer
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize