ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
