the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
