It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
