I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
