The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
