i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
