yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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