I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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