Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
