whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
