haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
