Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
